Monday 18th February – the worst day of my life.

A cloudy overcast sky this morning

While Tim waited for Sebastian to arrive he got ready for his town trip.

Then he and Azzan went down to the wharf to condition mussel ropes.

This is the last photo I have of my Timmy.

And he is doing what he loved.

Working with his kids.

After this he and Seb went out to do some mussel work for a few hours.

The girls processed 2 bins of tomatoes.

Then they spent the rest of their working day in the garden.

Anson was mustering most of the day.

Tim arrived back at lunch time and packed up the Safari and took Seb & Phoebe back home and then headed off to town around 2:30pm.

We had a date to meet in town at 2pm tomorrow.

I was really tired so had a wee rest before Anson & Marah popped in for a visit.

We had an early dinner and got cleaned up.

I was just about to start packing my stuff for town as we are leaving early tomorrow when I got a text from Anson saying he had just heard there had been an accident on our road.

I immediately started making phone calls and couldn’t locate Tim anywhere he was supposed to have been.

After a very long call to the police and then finding out I was talking to Wellngton Police and they didn’t have a clue where we were they finally put me on to a Blenheim sergent who knew exactly who I was and confirmed my worst nightmare.

He had been trying to locate a neighbour to come tell me but as our neighbours are about an hour away they hadnt arrived yet.

He didn’t want to tell me over the phone stunned

I was furious, angry, upset, hurt, hysterical……

It took 6 hours for me to find out and that was through the newspaper.

My Timmy is dead.

I can barely see the keys to type

I can’t stop crying.

I don’t know what I am going to do without him

I am so devastated.

Anson & Marah and Seb & Phoebe came straight round and started phoning the kids.

It is the worst news to have to tell your children.

Liz, Harry & Jude all arrived – it was really good to have their loving support.

The three young ones have been beside themselves all night.

They are now sleeping thankfully and the boys and partners have gone home.

I now have to rethink the morning and repack my bags as I will have to be in town for more than the two planned days.

26 thoughts on “Monday 18th February – the worst day of my life.

  1. Beautiful Raewyn, you are the strongest woman I know and someone I have always looked up to, both as a mother and as a loving devoted wife.  You and Tim have the kind of love that will last, even in death, and I am so grateful to have seen the love that you two share first hand.  You raised 10 of the most wonderful children in the world, all of which are a testament to your devotion and love towards your family and life together.  That family will help you to get through this devastating time, as you will help them…… be strong for one another, but also know that it is ok to cry, be sad, be angry, be hurt, feel sorrow and pain……I feel that pain for you now, my heart aches for you and your family…..Tim Shand was and always will be an incredible man.  All our love, Summer, Jase, Nathan, Ryan and Brook xoxoxoxoxoxox

  2. Raewyn. I’ve never met Tim, but felt like I knew him from your blog. I’ve tears running down my face and no words. Total shock. Oh Raewyn I am sooo sorry.Lots of love Leanne

  3. Oh, my dear, Raewynn — I’m so sorry!  I’ve only ‘known’ you for a short time, but I’ve seen a wonderfully loving family led by two people full of life and love.  Life will be very different without Tim, and I know you will all miss him terribly.  Thank you for sharing him here!

  4. Oh my dear friend, I am SO sorry to hear this.  I somehow lost you on Facebook again, and had cancelled my account here at Xanga.  A mutual friend messaged me with the news this morning.  Raewyn, I have no words….I am so sorry for your loss.  Please know that I am thinking of you, and praying my heart out for you and your family this week, and in the days ahead.  All of my love to you at this difficult time.  I’m so sorry…Love and hugs, Kathryn

  5. Dear Raewyn I am in tears for your sad loss, I always remember Tim as such a calm and gentle gentle man and totally devoted to you and your wonderful children.  I am thinking of you and your family and my heart goes out to you all.  Life just isn’t fair.Lots of love and hugs Jan, Angus and Colby xxx

  6. Dearest Raywyn,May God do as He has promised over the ages – walk with you through this valley of the shadow of death.  He is with you.  His rod and His staff will comfort you.  Rest.  Rest in the wonderfully completed work of Christ on the Cross.  The fact that God would trust you to trust Him during this time is a miracle of rich and enduring magnitude.  We love you.  Russ and Lora Wahl, southern Alberta, Canada.

  7. I wrote a comment and it disappeared so trying again – sorry if it somehow appears twice.Ever since my 3 younger sons (Steven, Simon, Jeffrey) and I stayed a couple of days at your place back in 1999, I’ve been promising my husband that one day I would take him there, to your very special place with such very special people. Yet another example of a lesson I have still not properly learned – don’t let the ‘must dos’ and the ‘should dos’ distract me from the wonderful ‘want tos’.I cannot begin to imagine your pain at the moment, but am sitting here crying for you and Tim and your family. Sending you all my love at this time.Cally (aka Carol) Brown

  8. Oh Raewyn!   I haven’t kept up with you for a couple of years and then I hear about this tragic death of your beloved husband!   I am so sorry…and I am sending you my love.   Evelyn in Oregon

  9. Oh Raewyn, when Cally Brown passed on the sad news about Tim I just cried at the unimaginable loss for you. I am so very sorry that you have lost your wonderful Tim, from earlier years on the home ed lists I feel like I knew a bit about your family and the loving times you all have together. This is just so terrible. Much love to you all, I wish there was a way to comfort you, I hope the love and care from those around you will ease what must be a terrible grief. Lynda (Delis) Whitlow

  10. Raewyn, Ingrid Jacobson here in Canada. Mary and David told me the sad news about Tim’s death. My heart is breaking for you and your children as you try to process this tragedy. I remember Tim as such a wonderful man and was saying that he and Tim Morrow, the two Tims, back in the late 60’s allowed me at times to be an honorary guy with them. Sounds life in those days for teenagers (and I’m sure is probably still the same)  meant that our socialising times were very much looked forward to — and your beloved Tim was such a warm, caring, kind man whom I always felt was someone I could trust, especially when things got a little wild. And your wonderfully large family must be feeling they have lost a larger than life presence in their Dad but they have you, and for that, thankfully, you were not travelling together. I know Dad had such admirable things to say about you (not the least being that you birthed 10 children) and those strengths that are you, plus the great love that you have experienced, will be with you always. Tim has modelled to his children what a good man is and that is a gift they won’t forget. Nor will I. With very warmest thoughts travelling across the ocean to you and your family. Ingrid

  11. RaewynWe were devastated and shocked when we heard such sad news.  My heart goes out to you and your family knowing how close you all are. Our thoughts are with you all.All our luv and thoughts Mike and Gay Ford

  12. Dear Raewyn and family,We are shocked to hear the devastating news of Tim’s untimely death,our deepest sympathy to you and your wonderful family.Tim was the ultimate husband and father and will be hugely missed,we hope that you can gain strength from all the love,thoughts and messages from your wide circle of loving family and friends.Our thoughts are with you at this very sad time.Love David and Mary Jacobson.

  13. We are so saddened by this news and will pray for you and your family. May the Lord uphold and comfort you in the coming days.Kathee in WV (Weaver family).

  14. Raewyn, I was gone all weekend at a retreat, so Jamin told me the news, and I have just gotten back to internet today. I was hoping that over the last couple of days I would have been able to come somewhat to terms, or get over the shock for me, who never had the privilege of meeting Tim, much less even imagine the shock for you and the family. I am for sure not over the shock and I can only imagine there is no way you are either. Just know that our prayers and love are with you and the family, and I am so thankful your boys are there with you right now. Tim was one of the hardest working, most truly manly people I have heard of and his loss will be deeply felt in this world. The world needs more men like him!Jamin is so proud to have gotten to meet him, and is just as much in shock as I. May God wrap you  up in his mighty wings of protection now.

  15. I learned of your great loss from Brenda.  My deepest sympathy to you and your family.  There are no words to heal your pain, but please know you are in my thoughts as prayers through your most difficult time.

  16. Oh, Raewyn. My heart is aching, broken for you, for your family. You don’t know me; I’m just one of your many sisters in Christ that is praying, praying, praying for you. Reading your story, sharing in your great sorrow takes me back to our summer last year, when my little brother died in a tragic accident. There are just no words for that pain, for that grief, and I’m asking our Heavenly Father to hold you all so tightly in His arms of love. There is no other relief for any of this. I’m so thankful your family and friends have rallied around you, as ours did around us. And I’m so thankful you were allowed to see your precious husband’s body. And I’m so thankful the love of our Saviour surrounds you every moment, even through the moments when you can feel nothing but the weariness of your sorrow. God bless you and your family.Love to you.

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