Monday 23rd September

Woke at 5-ish and thankfully was able to sleep for another hour.
Crept out and showered and dressed at 6:30am.
Lovely to see the sunrise pushing through the remnants of the storm clouds.
Saw the Tardis approaching soon after so I zipped down and woke Molly.
Sebastian was anxious to be in his way as he had to be in Havelock around midday to catch the tide at the slipway.
It feels such a fleeting visit, but it has been great.
Certainly doesn’t feel like 10 years has passed since Molly first came to stay with us.
I got some breakfast together for her to take on the boat and walked down to the wharf to say goodbye.
I was walking in front of her and was just about to take a step down the beach steps when I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye and I turned to see what it was and I stumbled and twisted my right knee.
It was Cat following behind us!
She hopped on board with Skip to help Molly down, so we grabbed a photo opportunity.P1080815

And off they go.P1080818
As I crouched down to take this photo I realized I now have two damaged knees.
Such a total pain!
They are both really sore, especially when I bend them to squat down or stand up from sitting.
The wisteria is just coming into bloom.
I have never had this much blossom on the vines before.
It is going to be stunning in a day or three.

Jesika & Shoshannah went off for a walk.
Anson came round to sort out some papers.
I then made some phone calls for him while he went off to do some stock work.
Mahalia & Melanie have been hanging out all day, changing clothes and taking photos – as you do when you are 13!
I went to bed and read my book and dozed for a while before lunch.
Shoshannah made pies for her and Jesika.
Then they came in to talk with me.
I am really struggling with the strain of parenting right now.
It feels like I have spent my whole entire life for my children and I still have years ahead of me.
But doing it alone is damned hard and I just want to run away from all the conflicts and stresses at the moment.
I know I can’t.
I have to be the responsible one.
But actually all I feel like doing is copying Eden and having a hissy fit – blah, there, I’ve said it, got it off my chest.
Now I can go sit in my corner!
Jesika went off with Anson and I decided to make myself a pie for lunch but had to make the pastry first.
Started watching the dvd ‘Trade of Innocents’ while eating my pies.
Such a gut wrenching movie.

Azzan has had a pajama day.
He spends a lot of time with his juggling sticks.
I never realized how good he was at it until I tried to do it myself 😉
He and I played hangman for a while.
Marah popped in for a few minutes with Eden.
She was sound asleep so we were able to talk for a wee while.
Then she woke and was blowing bubbles – cute 🙂
I gave them the cot quilt – Marah loved it.
I had showed it to Anson in the morning. I sorta think he liked it too.
Marah made a run for it before she got revved up and wanted a feed.

Phone was finally fixed this arvo.
Looks like lightening had blown one of our phones plus several of Seb & Phoebe’s.
So we are on the look out for some more of the ‘old fashioned’ plug in phones.
If anyone has one or three they don’t want please keep us in mind.
The cordless ones are useless here because they do not work during a power cut, of which we tend to get quite a few!

Made stuffed sausages for dinner.
Azzan peeled & cooked the potatoes.
I used up a few odds and sods of veges that had been left over/behind, a leek, aubergine, cauli and brussel sprouts – cut them up and brought to boil then tipped over a couple of cans of tomatoes.
It was quite tasty & went well with the sausages.

Jon Paul arrived at dinner time.
He actually arrived on the farm much earlier in the arvo but met Anson & Jesika and went off with them.
They were helping Graham get his tractor from Bulwer and then setting some possum traplines.
It is about 15 years since Jon Paul lived with us for the year.
And the first time he has been back.
Great to see him again and great to see him looking so good.
Lots of talk and memories over dinner.
He and Anson went off hunting after dinner.
I went to tuck down my kids and found Nicky still with Shoshannah watching a movie and Mel & Mahlaia bunked down together in Mahalia’s room.
Azzan is back in his own bed now Molly has gone – he has just been vomiting again tonight.



4 thoughts on “Monday 23rd September

  1. You precious person…. you HAVE given your ‘all’ and it is dreadfully hard dong it ‘alone’, as I found when G was away so much, and also having different values to me, but I can only imagine the overwhelming feeling you must have knowing that strong, understanding, wise and patient other half of your team isn’t there to lean on and bounce things off. It’s daunting just thinking about it. You have been more than a parent. Most parents get to enjoy a number of hours in a day doing for themselves, or at least what they ‘feel like doing’/. You have never had that, being the classroom teacher as well… and count the years. What you have done and continue to do is massive. No wonder you are having a ‘what about ME’ time. So get yourself out of the corner, pat yourself down and stand tall….. many a mother would have crumbled under the pressure you have coped with so admirably. xxx

  2. Kia kaha Raewyn. Just keep telling us how you are doing and we will hold you up in prayer. I know it isn’t anything like having Tim hold your actual hand, but we are all holding your hand. Love you

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