I woke early, checked the forecast, still talking rain, but the Marlborough news was talking of rain tomorrow.
So I decided to make a run for it.
Azzan had been asking for days if he could go stay with Seb & Phoebe and I wanted to go check on a few things and bring back another load of stuff.
He was out to the count so I left him to sleep in a bit.
Woke him around 9am, he was very happy and packed his bag quickly.
Mahalia wanted to go to church so I organised a ride for her as it was beginning to rain at that point.
We zipped over to New World and grabbed some food take take, fuelled up the Nissan and then waited 10 minutes for Tank Juice Bar to open at 10am so we could get a smoothie each for breakfast.
Then we were off!
Azzan was in control of the music so we were entertained the whole way.
I felt an increasing solemnity hit me the further I drove, the closer to home we got.
I was shedding inside tears as thoughts flashed through my mind.
I realised a melancholy was settling on Azzan too.
He wanted to stop at Tim’s cairn but he didn’t want to get out.
He just wanted to cuddle long and hard while he cried.
We stopped at the sheds and had a wander around.
Azzan wanted to check out Tim’s truck.
He was trying to get in behind the seats, he told me that there was always things stashed there.
He finally got them forward and there were spare coats that Tim always kept there for emergencies.
Tim’s green raincoat was there too.
More tears, more intense hugs.
No, he didn’t want to take the raincoat, it had to stay right where it was.
He just needed to know it was there.
Finally we arrived down at the house.
It is so hard coming back home.
There is less and less there each time we go.
It is really feeling bereft and empty and lonely and everything that goes to having no Tim there.
Azzan was intent on packing up the car as quickly as possible.
We managed to clean out the study and loaded what we could into the car.
It took us about 3 hours to do it all!
Finally around 3:30pm we were all loaded up and ready to head out again.
Seb met us at the top of the hill and Azzan went off home with him.
Azzan was worried about me driving out on my own.
I assured him I would be fine and that I would actually probably enjoy the solitude.
The sky was so dramatic at the top of the hill.
It was blowing a gale up there but still no rain.
The farm is looking really lush and green which is great.
I snacked along the way as I was feeling rather hungry.
We hadn’t really stopped to eat while we packed.
It was such a stormy grey day, it really matched my mood.
Grey, bleak, sad, weary & worn.
It was a long drive out, I was really struggling to keep focussed and the closer I got to Nelson the worse the weather became.
It was dark and raining as I drove over the Wangamoa’s so I had to really keep my wits about me.
Mahalia was pleased to see me when I finally arrived around 7:30pm.
She had walked home from church and then taken Caspian for a long walk up to see Sophie and had only just gotten back home before dark.
So there was one tired we puppy curled up in his bed.
We got some food and curled up not he sofa and watch X Factor NZ.
That put me to sleep so I staggered off to bed.
Woke up again when Nathan arrived in around 10pm.