Monday 22nd June

I was about to head out the door this morning to take Caspian to the vet for a weigh in when Azzan asked about Mahalia’s orthodontist appointment.
He wanted to be there with her.
So a quick change of plans, he raced around getting dressed, grabbed a carrot for her as we rushed out the door.
Her appointment was at 9:30am and it was almost 10am when we arrived.
But all was well.
She was still in the nurses chair with Sophie watching the proceedings.
Celebrations were underway!!
After 2.5 years her braces had just been removed.
A joyful day for her 🙂
And also the reason Azzan brought the carrot which she could now easily eat!
Azzan asked when he was getting his braces and I was like, ‘nah, not gonna happen’.
Then the nurse offered to recycle Hali’s for him 🙂
Don’t think so!!

I all of a sudden realised my time frame was being squeezed too tight as the orthodontist still had some work to do before she could leave the surgery.
So I left Azzan there to walk back home with Mahalia and I zipped Caspian to the vets.
He has put on about a kilo in the month since he was neutered so we adjusted his food allowance.
Its a bit tricky to know exactly how much to cut it when he is still growing so I’ll take him back in about 3 weeks and see how he’s doing.
I left him back home with Mira & Nathan and just had time to zip in and get a Mega Green Smoothie before my 11am counselling session.
When I finished there I got word from Marah to say she was heading to my place so I went straight home.
She was on a toddler free outing so arrived with just this wee poppet.
Love this photo of Aaliyah & Aunty Mahalia – note the gorgeous braces-free smile 🙂
Aaliyah was all bundled up in the wee MacPac jumpsuit I had bought for her when she was born.
Perfect size for these chilly months.

Eden was at home with her Dad and Marah was relishing the time alone with Aaliyah to shop and visit with no stress.
I had just sent Azzan down to get some hot chips for lunch as I was starving & couldn’t think what to make, when Owen & Gaylene popped in to visit.
They were just in Nelson briefly and as I hadn’t seen them in 2.5 years it was really good to catch up and for them to meet the younger kids.
Put the jug on and was making drinks when Pat arrived at the door.
So with all the noisy chatter and excited puppy bouncing around  it was pretty noisy and bedlamish for a while.
Pat & Owen disappeared out the door to check my timber supply and then Marah & the kids went up to the sunroom to change the baby and chill out in the sun so I had some quieter time to talk with Gaylene.
Marah had to leave to she took Mahalia back up to her 2nd orthodontist appointment at 2:30pm.
She sent me this photo a bit later, Eden had a happy day with her Daddy but was happy to see Mummy and baby 🙂
Shanni walked in the door 5 mins later.
I gave Owen & Gaylene a guided tour before they left and then had a chat with Pat as to the options for redoing the front deck.
It was good to have a rethink about it all, we were able to simplify the process and potentially use far less new timber so hopefully it will all come together soon.
I love having visitors, but it always seems that I can go for days with no one coming and then everyone arrives en masse and it is all very noisy, exhausting and I frustratingly don’t feel I have quality time with each person :-/

I left Azzan with instructions to get his room sorted and then I took Shanni into town to look for shoes.
It is hard yakka shopping with Shanni – decisions don’t come easily and it takes a considerable length of time to get to the end of the process.
By which time I am totally exhausted.
Mahalia walked down from her appointment and joined us, but went and sat in the car to wait as the process was taking too long even for her 😉
After 2 hours we had been to visit Leeanne and gotten some more ideas as to where to look for a graduation dress, and found her several pairs of shoes.
Including a pair of heeled boots which she delighted in wearing for the evening.
We arrived back home with time for the kids to quickly get ready and then we were out again.
I had been working the calendar to get an evening where all 6 of us were free to go out for dinner.
It was a last dinner all together before Mira leaves to go back to Germany.
She booked her tickets this afternoon so it is all definite now.
Today Nathan got his continuing education sorted and is about to enrol as an adult student to complete his Level 3 certificate so some positive progress.
We had decided to go to Little India for dinner.
I had to laugh cuz when I arrived first with the 3 kids the Indian guy asked ‘Table for four’ and I said ‘No for 6 actually’.
He responded with, ‘Six is even better’ – which made me laugh as I was imagining him rubbing his hands in delight at having two more customers 🙂
But unfortunately for him we only had our mains there and drank water so we really weren’t the lucrative clients he was hoping for.
But the food was excellent and we had a load of fun 🙂
We decided as the night was still young we would go elsewhere for coffees and desserts.

It was really chilly out but this was too pretty not to capture as we walked up the street.
The Cathedral tower all lit up behind and the tree lights with the antique street light – so sparkly.

We we welcomed into Cafe Affair by Nathan’s workmate Clare and got all cozied up at a table near the fire.
We had lots of fun and enjoyed some very delectable desserts and of course took loads of photos.
Finally had to drag ourselves back outside into the teeth chatteringly cold night.
Straight back home and off to our beds to get warm.
Mahalia got herself organised for tomorrows kayaking day and ran the puppy before closing up shop for the day.

Sunday 21st June

Shanni had work today so was gone early.
Mahalia & Azzan were having fun in the kitchen when I arrived out.
Halia walked to church wearing one of new warm jumpers.
I commissioned Azzan to get his clothes off the floor and into his wardrobe while I had my shower.
Then while I got the washing sorted and talked with Mira in the sunshine Azzan hosed my car.
Last night I had inadvertently parked under a tree and came out to find the birds had dumped all over it 😦
Once Azzan had it all cleaned we left Mira & Caspian to enjoy the sunshine together and we drove out to Stoke.
Stopped in to visit Phillipa & Pat.
Had an impromptu lunch with them all.
They were having a family get together for Nick’s 20th birthday.
Happy Birthday Nick – you old man 😉
Then at 1:30pm we went down and picked up Gilbert & Joan.
It was such a lovely day we had called them to see if they would like to go out for coffee and they said yes.
We took them to Crusoes Cafe and spent a happy time there.
Gilbert delighted in teasing Azzan 🙂
Azzan and he had stuff in common to discuss – Gilbert was at Nelson College back in 1937 for a couple of years!
Back then he didn’t have to stay at school for any specified period of time and by the age of 14 he had left and was working in the fabric department of a local department store called E. Buxton & Co Merchants.
Now I know how Buxton Square got it’s name!!
I really enjoyed a fascinating history lesson, learnt so much about the early days in The Wood because it was Gilbert’s hood!!
We had come for coffee but ended up being enticed into ordering from the dessert menu after Azzan asked for a ‘Sin in a Jar’.
He ordered the cheesecake and I had to have the Baileys & Coffee mousse – almost needed breathalysing afterwards though 😉
Gilbert decided the warm chocolate cake sounded pretty tasty and when given the option of ice cream or sorbet decided that he’d try something new.
So sorbet it was – and he devoured every last mouthful!
Wasn’t much left in Azzan’s jar either.
You can never fail to do total justice to Rami’s cooking 🙂
Joan opted for a choclate & strawberry muffin – but it was so overwhelmingly humungous she had to take half it home for supper.
Gilbert had to move his dessert around the table to make sure it got into every photo 🙂
Love these too lovebirds.
Tim & I shared our wedding anniversary with them as well as with Chris & Pete.
It was a delight to celebrate with them all a few years ago.
This coming November Gilbert & Joan will celebrate their 70th anniversary – wow – super coolness!!
It would also have been Chris & Pete’s 50th and mine & Tim’s 37th.
There are times when I really feel cheated of the years together we were looking forward to, but then have to remember the good years we had.

Finally it was 3pm and the cafe was closing and the energy levels were decreasing so we delivered Gilbey & Joan back home with smiles on their faces.
Thank you Anat & Rami for contributing to a lovely afternoon 🙂

We shot out to Richmond to meet someone I had bought something from via an online Buy Sell Swap.
She was on her break when I got there and went into a tail spin when she couldn’t find her carneys.
I walked out to her car and thankfully found the keys.
Car was all locked up with keys in the door!
And the car was still there!!!

Azzan & I drove back to Phillipa & Pat’s.
They when were still celebrating so Azzan went off to join the lads while Mandy, Phillipa & I went to visit Anne up the hill.
We had some drinks left over from our VanAid fundraising so we did some contributing 😉
I chatted with Anne for a while and then mozied off back to P&P’s for another hour or so.
We finally left around 6pm.
I thought Azzan was tired and wanting to get home so had declined staying for dinner, but in the car discovered he was actually enjoying himself and would’ve liked to have stayed.
Oh well, next time!

Mahalia had gone to evening church with Sophie and then was staying the night there.
All the girls had taken Caspian for several long walks today so he had gotten lots of exercise which was great.
We had an easy meal of rice and left over stew for dinner.
Everyone was watching their various series so we all chilled out separately.
Actually was good after such a busy social day.

I have to show off a gift I was sent this week.
These gorgeous orange hand warmers arrived unexpectedly in the mail.
Lovingly knitted by Gay.
Thanks so much Gay – I love them xxxx



Saturday 20th June

Seems crazy with all the terrible weather hitting New Zealand right now, with all the flooding and low snow falls, that Nelson this morning is warm enough to not bother with the heatpump or fire.
Yes, it was a bit grey and damp to begin with but definitely milder over night temps.
I heard Mahalia scurrying around getting ready to head out to rowing.
She begins at 7:30am on a Saturday for now.
It only takes her 5 mins to bike there.
Shanni & Katherine were busy in the kitchen making omelettes for breakfast soon after.
It all looked very industrious with much deliciousness in the making.
Shanni had to head off to work just before 9am.

I am enjoying not having to be up early for a few days.
I know that will change soon, but for now I’m just making the most of it.
Azzan juiced up some veggies and presented me with a large glass of carrot, beetroot, apple and celery juice.
It really gave me a much needed energy kick start to the day.
Nathan put on a slow cooker meal before he went off to work to ensure there would be food for dinner.
Mahalia arrived back soon after 9am.
She, Azzan & Katherine then went off for a long walk with Caspian.
When they arrived back I was all ready to head out the door so Katherine jumped in the car and I dropped her back home.
I went to the Mean Greens Fruit & Vege shop to stock up for the week.
Then a quick stop at New World before zipping back home to unload.
Left Azzan & Mahalia to unpack and clean up the house.
Mahalia was making an apple cake – looked delicious.
It was getting a tad cooler out so I rugged up with several layers in anticipation of the chill.
We had our quarterly SASH Collective meeting at 3pm so I had suggested a get together with some of my workmates at Suter Cafe at 2pm.
It is really nice to hang out and get to know the others outside of work sometimes.
All in all around a dozen of us managed to get there so we had a really good hour socialising over our coffees and food.
I opted for a savoury polenta cake thingee which was actually rather nice – esp with the tomato relish.
I am really loving getting to know my new workmates, they are a great bunch of ladies, it has been a really good move taking on this job.
It is giving me a focus outside of the stresses of home and business, something I can do for me for others.
It is also greatly boosting my personal confidence.
I hear that people see me as confident, however, inside I’m usually anything but that.
I really struggle with significant  feelings of low self esteem and lack of self worth and have to wrestle to keep above them.
I guess it has been years & years of tightrope walking between the ‘always having to be the responsible eldest sibling’  and the ‘little girl who had to keep too many heavy, damaging secrets, so spent most of her life in an internal foetal ball’, that over time resulted in a huge tangled ball of ptsd, which I am only now beginning to untangle, and is helping me to discover who the real me is.   :-/
I read a book years ago which really spoke to me at the time.
It was called Choices Changes by Joni Erickson Tada.
One thing I gleaned from this book was about how we all wear masks.
She describes of going out on a date, sitting in the car and feeling like she was ‘normal’, putting on the mask of ’normality’ to passers by who couldn’t see her useless legs and wheelchair.
But when her body would not allow her to fulfil what she was wanting her mask fell off and she was exposed, she melted down.
So much of our lives are spent putting on masks, covering our vulnerabilities, our realities, our secrets and our self perceived inadequacies.
It is a huge thing to take off our masks.

Anyway, enough of all that.
At 3pm we were all at the office ready for an afternoon of business.
Just before we began Mahalia & Azzan arrived with some cake for the shared meal.
They were heading off to meet Emma at the movies.
I suggested that Madi might like to join them so they happily went off to hang out together.
The four of them had a great time, ‘Hot Pursuit’ was the movie of choice.
The meeting was fairly fraught as there was a lot of stuff to discuss.
It is interesting getting my head around how collectives work.
It is not easy, but is really good to have so many thoughts, ideas and opinions.
We finally broke for a short break around 5pm and then carried on till after 6pm.
As the meeting went on for longer than expected some of the collective had to leave so by the time we were ready for our shared dinner we were about half the original number so heaps of yummy food to go round.
Afterwards we made sure that the ladies who were parked away from the office were safely in their vehicles.
You know!
I love that caringness – always there is a protectiveness about each other.
Making sure we are all safe.
I dropped Madi & Sarah-Jane home on my way back.
The kids were all good.
Nathan & Mira were at work.
I headed off to bed fairly soon after getting home, but didn’t sleep for ages.
I had a lovely chat on phone with Joan.
It was so good to hear her sounding so much better, less muddled and more cheerful.
The Dr has changed her medication which was making her so forgetful and confused – it is shocking how damaging some drugs are.
Especially when the effects get written off as typical elderly alzheimerish behaviour 😦
There was a lot of partying going on so I finally had to get up and douse the energy balls and send them off to bed around 10pm because Shanni was trying to get to sleep in preparation for work tomorrow morning.
Then no sooner did I have them in bed than I had to send another hush message to the kitchen to quieten down the late shift workers who had just arrived in.
It’s an interesting railway station I live in these days!!

Friday 19th June

The girls both had NMIT today so they were up and gone by 8:30am.
I had not a lot planned for the day so I wallowed in my bed until around 10am.
The puppy was let out and fed and Azzan carried on sleeping.
It was a much warmer morning.
In fact so much warmer there was no need to light the fire or turn on heatpumps.
Pleasant change.
I was intending on taking Caspian for a walk to the vets and have him weighed, so around 10:30 I headed to the shower.
I was doing the great debate of do I bother washing my hair today or leave it till tomorrow.
Decided to do it today.
Had just gotten in and was totally soaked from head to toe when the phone went.
It was work calling to see if I was available to come in asap.
So I raced back into the shower and completed my ablutions, through on clothes, gave Azzan an update and flew out the door.
Texting Shanni along the way – not as I was driving!
I had a lunch date set up with the girls to take them both shopping which I realised would probably have to be postponed.
Got to work at 11:10am and spent the following few hours sorting out a crisis.
It was good to have the input and assistance of several of the team who were coming and going as it was a tricky case.
I hadn’t had time to have any breakfast before leaving so I was getting really hungry by early afternoon.
A delightful lady bought in a coffee cake with pecans on the icing before I left.
Coffee cake!!
My goodness, hadn’t had that in years – it was so good!!
My stomach no longer ached from emptiness but from overload of deliciousness 😉
Finally got my part of things sorted and my report written up and was out of the office at 2:30pm.
Drove to meet Shanni who was wanting to show me her chair she had been building at carpentry this term.
My car was too small for it to fit into so after ascertaining that the tutor would be there for a bit longer we shot straight home and changed vehicles.
Came back in the Nissan to find the whole department locked up.
Frustrating to the max!
Nothing we could do so I took Shanni back home and swapped cars again.
She wanted to rest a while before heading off to work.
I met up with Mahalia in city centre, she’d gone to start looking for some winter jumpers.
We combed a few shops and finally came out with several that both of us were happy with 😉
Then I took the bag of Gavin’s stuff, he’d left it in our attic a few years ago, to the shipping company and spent half an hour packing it all into a box and getting it ready to send over to him in the UK.
I’d been getting quotes and trying to sort it out for several weeks so was very glad to finally get it all done and dusted!
Then we headed home.
I was sitting in the car after Mahalia got out, sometimes I like to just sit in the peace and quiet for a few moments before going indoors to the busyness of family, when a hand reached in and gave me my new eftpost card.
It was Ross!
He and Andrea had just arrived and I hadn’t seen them.
We had a lovely whirlwind visit, showed them all the new changes and additions, and before they left he unpacked and connected up my printer.
It all works great.
But after falling over so much junk to do it I really have to spend some time sorting stuff and getting rid of heaps, I am beginning to feel somewhat over crowded and hemmed in with all the boxes from home.
Andrea & Ross headed off to visit a friend at hospital.

Mahalia & Azzan had soup and buns for dinner.
I felt like something a bit more so roasted up a mix of veggies.
While they were cooking I watched some ‘Orange is the New Black’ and debriefed with Rebecca on the phone.
I remembered I hadn’t collected my neighbours mail so I zipped around the corner to get it and then Nick called up to tell me that our dear friend Chris had just died.
She was diagnosed with Motor Neurone disease only a few months ago.
I was so glad I had the opportunity to catch up with her one last time when I was last in Christchurch.
She will be sadly missed but she went joyfully to meet her Jesus with a huge smile and great anticipation 🙂

Katherine arrived to spend the night with Shoshannah.
They had fun cooking before heading off to bed.
I could hear them talking for ages so hope some sleep was had.


Thursday 18th June

Today it is 28 months since I last saw Timmy.
28 months since he hugged me goodbye and drove up the road.
28 long months of pain, anguish, grief, anger, heartbreak, hurt, misery, unanswered questions, pain, learning, grief, discovery, heartache, growth, anger, emotional distress, grief……
In amongst that grief there has been good things, some amazing adventures, laughter, support, finding out who my true friends are, new journeys, the bittersweet excitement at seeing the children developing and growing into young adults, finding our feet again……
Today I am surfacing from a few weeks in a dark tunnel.
Sometimes it seems relentless, the tunnel swallows me up when I am least expecting it and the light at the end seems to be so far away.
The sides so dark and squashing.
Today I smiled again, I had fun today, but underneath the smiles and the fun is a numbing heartache, an aloneness that no-one else can fill.
My dear and special far away friend Gail sent this to me this week.
And even though I know my sails are strong, sometimes that wind is a whole lot stronger and the memories won’t stop rolling down my cheeks 😦
So if you see me on one of those days, please don’t try and ‘fix’ me.
Just understand that it is my path that I am walking, muddling through, and I will walk at my own speed in my own way and time.
Just love me and mine as we each walk our own journeys through our own pain.
Thank you xxxx

Shanni had gone off to her work placement long before I made it out to the kitchen.
Hali headed off to NMIT, I wasn’t envying either of them as it was really cold this morning.
It was so chilly that I had both heat pumps going.
Then when Nathan emerged he got the fire cranked up and a good load of wood stacked inside, preparing for the onslaught of predicted bad weather.
Azzan wanted to go have lunch with Mahalia so he got his clothes sorted and into the wash, cleaned up his room, showered and made his lunch.
When I left he was looking his gorgeous self and ready to go hang with his sis and her friends.

I went and sorted out my hard drive issues at Warehouse Stationary and came out with two new ones.
Let’s hope they both keep going a darned sight longer than the previous ones.
Also found a printer on an extremely good deal so got one for Marah & Anson and after a chat with the salesman about mine, discovered that it is over 5 years old and running at twice the cost of this one.
So ended up taking the last two on the shop floor.
It was just too good a deal to leave there!
I then headed out to Richmond to meet up with Anson & Marah.
They were running a bit late so I went to miss out Farmers sale.
I have been realising that I have plenty of the thinner merino layers and lots of jackets and coats, but not much in the in between slightly thicker layer which is very necessary as we head into winter.
I found several tops and a scarf so when Anson called to say they were here I raced through the check out and went to find them.
They had only a few minutes to get to their appointment and walking with a toddler and carrying a baby seat takes a while, so I grabbed their keys and left them to toddle off up the street with their babies.
I transferred the printer into Marah’s car and then went to find them.
Eden had been a bit sad to see me arrive and then run off so she was very happy when Nonna reappeared.
She was delighted when I asked if she would like to come hang out with me.
Her parents were also delighted 😉
As I hadn’t had a chance to eat all day and it was now after 11am we walked along to Ambrosia and ordered some drinks and a savoury scone.
While we wait we had some selfie fun.
Eden loves phones – she is very adept with them!
She told me that the packets of sugar were ‘yuck’
Good girl!!
Then Nonna’s mocha and Eden’s fluffy arrived.
I didn’t know she had never had a fluffy before!
She was so cute.
She knew what to do with the chocolate fish.
Then the scone arrived – and it had bacon in it.
She knows what to do with bacon 🙂
I was meeting up with Phillipa at Wakatu Pomeroys when she finished work so we walked back to Mummy & Daddy.
Then while we were talking I got a text from Phillipa saying she was happy to meet at the mall so I tried to take Eden for another walk.
But by now she had found Marah’s wallet and she was totally engrossed in removing all the cards and reallocating them to new spaces.
We tried everything to shift her focus but to no avail.
There was no way she was going to come with me so I left them to it and met up with Phillipa.
We found a seat in Ginger Cafe.
Then soon after Anson arrived with Eden, and Marah with Aaliyah.
Anson decided to leave his girls with us for ‘half an hour’ while he went off to do another job.
Half an hour?
Yeah right!
It was fun for us but Marah found it all a bit stressful trying to keep a tired two year old occupied.
She had lots of fun tipping out the yucky sugar into a wee bowl, filling it with her water and spilling it all over the table and then mopping it up.
The mopping was the best part 🙂
The ladies at the cafe were lovely and didn’t seem too fazed by the mess.
I got a cloth from them and soaked up the worst of it.
Don’t ya just love the eyes?
Eden has the most amazing eyes xxxx
IMG_6825IMG_6827IMG_6829IMG_6831Finally Anson returned and gathered up his girls and they went off home.
Azzan called me in distress cuz Caspian was being naughty and wouldn’t come inside so he could leave for his Kip McGrath lesson.
I talked him through how to trick the puppy into coming in and we had success.
Then after he had locked the door he realised his school work was inside so another call to find out how to get back indoors.
I could hear that he was very stressed and was running short on time so I called up Nathan and he picked him up and took him there.
Thanks Natey xxx

Phillipa & I talked a while longer while I witnessed her passport applications, most exciting to hear their plans.
Then I drove back to Stoke.
I had some photos to drop in to Gilbert & Joan.
They were so thrilled to see me again so soon.
I chatted with them for a while and then had to make a hasty exit when Azzan called me.
He had finished his Kip McGrath lesson and it was miserable outside so he was asking if I could pick him up.
Mahalia, the ever stoic one, had left earlier and walked on home.
I found him waiting in the cinema where it was warm and dry and there was plenty to absorb him while he waited for me.
Back to the house and I helped Azzan get dinner prepared.
He slammed the for on his hand so I ended up finishing the meal.
Mira & Mahalia took Caspian for a run around the block.
I tried on my new tops to show Mahalia.
She approved of each one!
Reckoned I had made some great choices.
Super approval from my super 15 year old fashion plate.
I must be doing well 😉

Then after dinner Mahalia went off babysitting for an hour.
I watched a few episodes of ‘Nashville’ with Shanni and then went off to bed.

The bad weather is really bombing many areas of New Zealand today.
Hokitika has been flooded really badly.
There is snow down very low all over the lower South Island.
And then the horrendous news that a 21 year old invaded a Charleston church and shot 9 people dead.
Far too much tragic news tonight.
Did a bit of a catch up on watching ‘Lost & Found’ then drifted off to sleep far far to late.






Wednesday 17th June

I woke up at 4am.
The type of waking up that says no way are you going back to sleep so you may as well do something!
So I caught up on my blog posts.

I found this lovely card beside my bed.
Mahalia had crept in and left it after I fell asleep last night.
It made me cry – and you make me happy too sweet girl.
Later when I was just out of the shower I had to hoof it along and get my car moved so Mira could take her car out to the garage in Richmond and hitch a ride back with Nathan.
Juggled the cars and then enjoyed a quiet morning here.
Devoured a large bowl of fresh fruit and porridge while watching some ‘Orange is the new Black’.
I’ll  be so glad when I have caught up so I can get something else done 😉
Actually it is very timely as I really need to rest up and blob out as much as possible at the moment.
It has been a rough week or so and I seriously need to undertake some serious self care.
I was waiting for a TradeMe buyer to come at 11am to pick up some lights I had sold, but they didn’t arrive until 11:30am which put my afternoon schedule a bit behind.
Once they had gone I left Nathan to walk Caspian and I drove out to Stoke to find some very dear old friends who have moved into Summerset Village.
It is a huge complex and took a bit of slow driving as I searched for their unit.
They were absolutely delighted that I had come to visit.
It was so cool to see them both, but I was shocked at how much they had aged since I last saw them.
They were living just around the corner from here but were abruptly shifted about a year ago by their family who wanted them to be in care so they could go overseas and not have to worry about them.
They are still reeling from the speed of the transition even though it was probably a good move.
My heart really went out to them – and if my kids ever do anything like that to me I will be kicking and screaming so loud no rest home will take me!!

I had a lovely hour with them and then had to buzz off to meet up with Shanni and her driving instructor.
I waited outside Waimea College only to discover that I really needed to be back in town so he didn’t have to back track for me to get my car afterwards.
So I wiped back along the motorway and arrived about 5 minutes before them.
I sat in the back for half an hour and observed his teaching and saw what he was wanting Shanni to work on.
She is doing well but he reckons she needs another 10 hours of practising until she is ready to sit her Restricted license.
I am really wanting to help her get through her licence but I’m struggling with my fear of being in the passengers seat.
Even whilst sitting in the back knowing that he was in charge my stomach was in knots and I was physically feeling sick during most of the lesson.
Shanni & I sat and watched some of her series ‘Nashville’ while we ate a late lunch.
Nice to just sit and relax with my girl for a while.

Anson & Azzan arrived around 4pm.
Azzan was looking weary but had had a great time.
He was so happy.
Before he left Anson handed me a bare leg of mutton which I had to carry across the street looking like a total carnivore!!
Gave it to Nathan who immediately cut it up and put a large piece to roast in the oven.
I left him to unpack and make his bed and I headed into town to sort out Anson’s rego etc.
It is too hard to take a large trailer through the middle of town.
I was about to go do some window shopping when Mahalia called to ask if anyone was free to pick her up from rowing.
We had some time before the shops closed so I went to check out Max sale on winter jumpers.
Tried on a couple but didn’t want to pay the price for the one I liked until I have looked further afield.
We got a mocha each from Starbucks and then went back home.
Dinner was still a ways from being ready and Shanni was at work so Mahalia & I decided to take Caspian for a walk.
It was cold and dark but we had lots of fun.
Walked around a few blocks, Mahalia & Caspian ran some of it and exhausted themselves, I walked and arrived home feeling great.
It is good to feel like I’m coming out the end of a dark place.
Shanni arrived back soon afterwards and we all had dinner together.
Then I crashed out and Mahalia cleaned up the kitchen.

Tuesday 16th June

I was still feeling fuzzy and achey this morning so took it really easy.
Everyone went off to work and school so I just stayed in bed.
It was a chilly morning but a lovely sunny day eventuated.
I fed Caspian and let him out to run about and bark at shadows and people passing by while I had a good soak in a bath with Epson Salts.
Cleaned up the kitchen, and tried to resurrect my very burnt soup pot.
Am letting it soak with Baking Soda to try and lift it off – it’s going to be a major job methinks 😦
Then cleaned up the kitchen shelf unit and buffed out some stuff.
Ran out of energy so retreated with a bowl of porridge into the lounge.
Snuggled up under blankets and watched a few episodes of ‘Orange is the new Black’.
Then I pulled myself off out into the sunshine and took Caspian for a walk around the block.
I didn’t have time to go any further and he was rather disappointed to be back at our gate half an hour later.
Mira were here, in and out all day, Nathan was  home from work and heading off to his evening German lessons.
Shanni arrived home as I was leaving.
She had a short time to eat and change and walk to work.|

It was a lovely afternoon.
Good to be outside if you were wrapped up warmly!
The colourfully warm autumn leaves belying the chilly air temps.
I had a voucher for a ‘Luxurious Winter Warmer Treatment incl. 75-Minute Massage & 30-Minute Facial’ with Sarah from Gaia Journeys who is now working out of the Loveday Clinic.
It was very timely that I had a booking for this afternoon, especially with the post migraine ache etc.
Sarah was lovely.
She had me completely relaxed and she said I slept through a lot of the treatment.
I rolled out of there feeling a lot better.
I had a short time before picking up Mahalia so I shot back home.
Turned on the heaters, made sure Caspian was alright, he was looking a bit lonely with no-one inside with him.
I was really hungry as I hadn’t eaten much all day so I went down and got some fish & chips to munch on while waiting for Mahalia to finish Kip McGrath.
She was happy to polish off the remaining chips after her lesson 🙂
Then back home.
Mira had cooked up a past meal – looked good but I couldn’t face anything right then.
Shanni arrived back from work soon after.
I got the fire lit and cleaned up the dinner.
Put everything into the fridge cuz I am tired of coming out to the kitchen int he morning and finding pots and pans with half eaten dinner in them!
I was so weary I took myself straight off to bed and had my light out before 9pm.
Unheard of for me!