Thursday 24th March

Woke to heavy rain this morning.
Florian had cleaned out the front gutters but the rain was so heavy they still weren’t coping.
It made a very pretty picture in the early 6am darkness.
There was flooding in the front yard and at the back door.
And in my washhouse!
I broke my broom handle trying to clean the drain to let the water escape.

Mahalia was up early because she didn’t get the message that from now until Maadi they don’t have to be at school until 10am so they can now row an hour later.
I guess with it being so dark and a few collisions happening it is a good decision.
Very thankful to the colleges for agreeing to support the rowers like this.
They are a true dedicated team and need 100% support from parents, schools and community to be able to compete in the regatta which is the largest school sports event in  the southern hemisphere .
There will be around 155 schools and 2500 athletes competing at Lake Ruataniwha during the first week of April.
Very exciting for Mahalia to be a part of this.

News was coming through of the storm and flooding all around the country.
Riwaka copped it really badly this time.
The rain was pretty intense over night and incredibly heavy when we woke.
I drove Mahalia to rowing, it was forecasted to clear before she had to walk to school.
Azzan had a cruisey start to his day as he doesn’t have to be in school until 9:05am on Thursdays.
I had his lunch packed and ate breakfast with him before he biked off at 8:30am.
The rain was pretty much finished by now.
Then it was back to the desk for me – sigh :-/
I worked through the morning.
Then Andrea arrived around 12:30pm so I stopped to make a cuppa and lunch.
Marah arrived with the girls soon after.
Eden & Aaliyah stayed here while Marah went off to sort out vehicles.
It was a bit busy but nice to catch up with Andrea as we hadn’t connected in the physical for quite a long time.
She had to take off around 2pm.
Marah got herself all sorted and left soon after.
It was lovely to see them all even if Eden was in a ‘No Nonna’ mood – don’t ya just love rambunctious nearly 3 year olds? 😉
By now the sun was out, the trucks were back working in the street.
It was very hot and very noisy.
When they all left I crashed out and had a rest for a wee while.
Azzan arrived home very hot and weary.
I went back to tackle the accounts again.
It is all very tedious.
Not my favourite job 😦

Azzan asked if we could go to the beach so once Mahalia got home we all piled into the car and drove round.
It was a wonderful post storm evening.
Driftwood strewn all along the tide lines.
The sea was still boisterous and the wind surfers were skimming the waves.
It was very energising.

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Azzan eventually asked to go back to the car so I gave him my keys and Mahalia & I kept on walking.
It was a good D&M time together while Caspian raced around meeting the other canine creatures.
I saw this diagram the other day, it perfectly pictures my experience too.
I have shared it with a few folk since then as it really resonated with me.
It seems that others who haven’t walked in my/our shoes have no idea nor should have any judgement on how we grieve or for how long we grieve.
In fact there are no rules on this.
Each of us walk our own journey.
It’s a lonely path, even with friends to encourage and support and love us through it.
The hardest thing ever is when someone says something like – ‘3 years, oh you should be over it by now.’
That is like a knife stabbing you in the heart.
My normal reaction is to pull back from that person and not share myself or my heart any longer.
You learn who the safest ones are that you can share your vulnerable self with.
It’s a painful enough journey without being made to feel guilty for grieving.

It was 7:45pm by the time we arrived back in the city.
There was an amazing cloud bank billowing over the Grampians.
I had to pull over to capture the gorgeousness of it.
Back home to make pizza for dinner.
Mahalia & I loaded it up with all sorts of vege goodness – lots of fresh silver beet, basil and tomatoes from our garden.
They were delicious.
Even the carnivore who decreed he wasn’t hungry (mainly because there was no meat on them) snuck inside in the midnight hours and devoured a major portion of the leftovers!

Azzan decided he wanted to sleep outside tonight so I checked the forecast.
No rain in the offing so I said he could sleep on the front deck.
I felt more secure with him there for me to be happy about him being outside.
It is so crazy that I have to think like this.
All my kids have slept outdoors at home.
Never batted an eyelid about it.
Perfectly safe out in the country wildness, but in the city………….. 😦
He was happy, all wired up with his iPad, phone and iPod to entertain him.
What more could a young lad desire?
I suggested around 10pm he should think about sleeping.
I was told to stop spying on him and that it was a holiday night!
So I left him to his fun and went to bed.
I woke up at 4:30am and thankfully he was sound asleep.
Have no idea how many hours – daresay I will find out today when we connect 😉IMG_5567

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