Thursday 26th June

Was woken by the phone at 7:45am.
Went back to bed and tried to rest for a bit longer.
Must have slept a bit as I missed a call at 8:30am.
Spent morning trying to unpack, sort stuff out and repack.
Didn’t get far with the repacking.
Anson went off in his boat with Leeann, Henry and another fella – hunting and fishing day by the looks of it.
Azzan made wraps for breakfast.
He was taught well by Uncle Murray whilst in Australia 🙂
Mahalia went off walking for quite some time.
When she finally returned she folded up the washing.
Azzan cleaned up his room.
I mended his new jersey, the stitches had pulled from the pocket and as it is his favourite he was very appreciative.
Sandra called – nice to catch up with her.
Although sad topics as we have lost two local folk in this past week.
I spent time getting paperwork out of the way and organising some business matters.

I didn’t have much of a day.
Spent a lot of it in tears.
Did a fair bit of ranting.
Was feeling really angry.
Angry at Tim for leaving me to deal with everything.
It just feels so darned hard and too much.
Every decision takes so much emotional energy.
I just haven’t got much of that left right now so it is constantly exhausting me.
Azzan is very comforting.
He always has a hug and a massage available when he sees I am distressed.
We lit the fires as it came in really cold.
The rain came in this arvo.
It was very heavy.
Anson dropped off some fish for dinner.
He came back later for a chat.
It was good to run over a few things re the farm.
He was very happy with the latest stock sale results 🙂
Mahalia cooked the fish and with Henry’s help they produced mashed spuds, roast pumpkin cubes and salad.
Then later after dinner I was lying on the sofa talking to Val while Henry made some chocolate thing for dessert.
I let them demolish it all.
Am really not wanting much sweet stuff these days.
I have to go pack my bag for town now.
Thought I didn’t have to be there till 4pm but thankfully I got a reminder text telling me Mahalia has an orthodontist appointment at 11am.
I’d clean forgotten about it!
So we have to leave half a day earlier than planned.
And I am only half ready.


PS – came across this song today – beautiful sung with very appropriate words.
Acknowledge Grief by Ari-Amber Messer



Wednesday 25th June

It was a very wet and windy day.
Stayed in bed all morning working on laptop getting things caught up.
Azzan made breakfast wraps – no working stove here yet so he did them in the fry pan.
Was about to go shower when Seb & Phoebe arrived.
We sat and talked for a while.
Sapphie was so funny.
She has discovered her tongue and likes to poke it out 🙂
Azzan spent all morning unpacking and started sorting his room.
When Mahalia finally came down she started helping him to clean up his room.
They were so excited to see each other – absence and all that stuff!
I helped Phoebe back up her iPhone and save her photos etc.
The bay was white with willywhirls gusting all over the place all afternoon.
The wind was making anything lose on the house bang and crash.
The rain was heavy for a time.
In Nelson we were hearing reports of heavy flooding!
Ive been downloading as much of my online art course as I can today to use up my allocated internet before midnight.
None of it was used while I was away so can’t see all 10GB going to waste 😉
I put washing through but the filter is a bit blocked after all the rain while I have been away so it is taking forever to fill the machine.
Will have to try cleaning it sometime.
Kids were having fun cleaning and being together all arvo.
I made a smoothie for us all around dinner time and then Mahalia baked some parsnip & kumara pieces in the wee oven for dinner.
She did yams too but they took forever to cook so we gave up on them.
The kids made a salad to eat with the roasts and we ate at 9:30pm.
It’s 11:30pm and I think they might just be heading off to bed so I might follow suit very soon.
It’s been a pj day so I don’t have to waste time getting changed tonight, I can just fall into bed 😉


Tuesday 24th June

I had a very disturbed night.
Azzan was tossing around so it took a while to actually get to sleep.
Then I woke at 3am and just could not get back to sleep.
Eventually must’ve cuz I was out cold when I woke to a message from Sunni.
Phone was on silent but the light of the screen mud have been enough to wake me.
Oh no!
It was 7:41am.
We were sposed to be up and gone to breakfast with Mat at 7:30am.
I quickly woke Azzan and he puled on his clothes and ran over to tell them that I would have a fast shower and be as quick as poss.
He came back to say Mat had gone to work and that we would brunch later.
It was all a bit much for me.
The sleepless night and the abrupt waking.
It all of a sudden hit and as I showered the tears just started pouring.
I think I had been holding them back for some days and this morning they wouldn’t stop.
When I got over tot he house Lily was having some mashed banana for breakfast and we just chilled for a wee while.
I sat outside with my drink of water and took 10 to breath.
Then had some cuddles with my wee girl while we decided where to go.
No photo session with Azzan is complete without some ragey selfies.
I did suggest that the light was a bit bright behind us but he reckoned it looked like his halo and he liked it 🙂
zzan playing games with Lily
We had the use of Mat’s work truck today – isn’t it super cool.
Just love it.

We hopped in and zipped off to ‘Dear Jervois’.
But then found it was closed on Tuesdays so we walked down the street to Rabbithole Cafe.
It was absolutely gorgeous.
Great setting and decor and wonderful food.
Sunni had the Coconut almond french toast which Lily thought she should get first dibs on!!
Hard to get a crisp photo of her as she was pretty intent on getting her hands on the food 🙂
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I had the Chicken and haloumi salad which was very tasty and kept me going all day.
Azzan opted for the Cajun fish slider which he demolished very quickly and said it was delicious and then proceeded to the counter to get a baby cupcake for dessert 🙂
On the way home Lily went to sleep so we diverted to do some shopping.
Azzan stayed in the car with her until she woke.
Got some cute baby clothes and Azzan found some free rather large hard backed books which I had to find space for in our bags :-/
Time was moving on so we headed back home and I quickly packed the bags and cleaned out the room.
Then we were off to the airport.
It was sad to be leaving so soon.
Hopefully it won’t be another 4 months till we see you all again xxxx
Goodbyes were fast cuz we only had a few minutes before check in closed.
Got there and bags dealt with in time and then went to sit and wait for boarding.
While I waited I checked in on Facebook and was saddened to see that our friend and neighbour Danny had passed away last night.
It has been a long battle.
Good bye Danny – you fought a valiant fight.

I slept most of the flight back to Nelson.
Landed to a much cooler day.
John met us and took us back to Arrow Motels where he had my car parked safely waiting for me.
Had a few minutes with them and then had to drive out to Richmond to sort out some insurance hassles.
I was so annoyed.
The underwriters had not contacted our broker until Friday morning re our renewal of the boat insurance and they wanted all the paper work signed and back to them by Monday.
Yeah right!!
I let the broker know it couldn’t happen that fast as I was away and she was trying to sort it for me as she agreed they had slipped up majorly.
Then got message as I landed to say that if they didn’t get our paperwork today the boat would be uninsured as of Fri 4pm.
Well whose fault is that??
So I whizzed out to see her and do what I could this arvo.
But the skippers papers couldn’t be done until the guys come to town later this week.
Apparently the underwriters were saying to our broker ‘can’t you drive down and take the papers to them??
Or can’t the Blenheim agent take them down?’
A 3 hour drive each way for either agent – not happening!
It was not a good day for me to have to deal with idiots sitting in the glassed Wellington offices with no clues as to how the real world operates 😦

We headed straight back to Nelson as I didn’t want to be late out of town.
Stopped to get Azzan some promised Mexican food as he was starving then on to meet Nathan at Hangar 58.
He was cleaning the ice cream machine and had a slight problem which took him longer so we got an early dinner snack there and then sat and chatted with him for a while.
Finally dragged ourselves out into the murky wet evening and went to pick up groceries.
Loaded up a pile of fruit and veges and then left town at 6:30pm.
Just heading to Atawhai and thankfully noticed the fuel gauge was nearly empty so u-turned and went back to town to fill up.
Running out of fuel in the middle of nowhere on a scundgy night like this would not have been a good look!!
It was pouring with rain and very foggy most of the way home.
I stopped briefly at Okiwi Bay, and then again at the top of McLarens when I received a text from Anson re the state of the road so had pulled over to read it and rest a bit.
Another vehicle passed me and pulled over.
I couldn’t see who it was at first as it was so murky but then recognised Anneke.
She ran back to make sure we were okay.
So lovely to talk with her and to have someone checking on me.
Had a quick chat with her and Rob and then followed them all the way to their turnoff.
It was somewhat comforting to have them in front.
When they turned off it all of a sudden felt very black and vulnerable.
Azzan and I agreed that it is at times like this that we don’t like the road home much :-/
Thankfully the rain eased a bit when we got to Tim’s cairn.
We stopped and put some pretty protea flowers there and had a few minutes to quietly hug.
Then we shared some funny memories as we drove home.
Arrived back to an empty house around 10pm.
Mahalia had left the light on but had gone up to Cat’s hut for the night.
We unpacked all the car and put away the groceries and all our gear.
My bedroom window was wide open & cold and Azzan was disappointed to find his bed had been left unmade.
So I helped him make it so I could get him off to bed.
Finally fell into my bed and waited for the electric blanket to heat me through.
Was quite a while before I could sleep.
Hate being alone.
It is just not fair!
Rant over!
Finally slept from sometime around 1:30am.



Monday 23rd June

Sat and chatted with Sunni for a while in my pjs while Lily & Azzan slept this morning.
Then woke Azzan & zipped through the shower so we could go out during her awake window.
Got to the car and found Mat had gone off to work with the baby seat in his truck.
Blast. Darn and Oh bother said Pooh!
A phone call made to a busy man, who very obligingly returned it back to us within a very short time.
We loaded us all onboard the wee Swift and were soon at Little Bird for brunch.
They have opened up a 2nd shop in Ponsonby Road.
It is a great place to go and experience different foods to what pst of us are used to.
Louise came to join us there.
She lives just up the road so was a very convenient place to meet.
So cool to see her again after so many years.
I ordered the Nachos – they were delicious.
Also had a a very delicious smoothie with all sorts of yummy things in it – figs, dates, walnuts, oats, banana, cocoanut milk, etc
Azzan had a Mexican dish which he said was delicious.
We had a great time chatting and chatting up with Louise but finally had to leave and take Lily home for her nap.
She didn’t sleep too long so we took her and the dogs for a walk.
But as we were about to leave Sunni discovered their leads were missing – probably in Mat’s truck!
So she improvised with a scarf around her middle and some green string.
Worked a treat.
She might even start a new trend 😉
I pushed Lily in the pushchair and the others led the way to the Western Springs park.
It is very pretty there.
Autumny beautiful.
Lots of birds.
Swans, geese, pigeons, sparrows, gulls, and more pukeko than I have ever seen together.DSC03021DSC03024DSC03026DSC03028DSC03031DSC03039
Lily chewed on her apple and watched the birds.
Then shared her apple with Tank!
Such a gorgeous place and so close.

We came back home and I watched Lily for a while so Sunni & Azzan could take the dogs for a run at the dog park.
She was happy to play in the plastic fantastic for a while.
The sun was shining through her glorious hair – showing off her a fantastic mohawk.
I was feeling a bit down and tearful so it was good to just have some peace & quiet to spend  time with Lily.
It is absolutely nothing anyone can fix.
Just have times when I feel really sad and even though everything around me is happy and busy and I can enjoy that, inside I am heartsick
It happens quite often and without warning.
A memory, a word, a thought….
After a while we went indoors and played with her blocks until the others came home.
Echo was right in on the block game!

When Mat came home Lily got most excited.
They had some fun time together.
After she went off to bed we had dinner.
Stir fried veges and steak.
Our last night here 😦
Made some plans for tomorrow and headed off to bed.


Sunday 22nd June

Of course babies don’t change their habits just cuz Mum & Dad party.
So Lily was up at her normal early hour and no one else was so Sunni took her out for a cup of tea.
Then she was back to bed by the time we were finally up around 10am.
Mat was cooking up some breakfast which we were happy to help him eat.
It was very tasty 🙂
Just as good, if not even better than cafe food!
Wilf & Diane popped into bring Tank back.
He had gone home with them yesterday after brunch to play with Zoya.
After they left, and we had finished eating Azzan babysat Lily so Sunni & Mat could have a sleep.
She was so funny with the blocks.
I was a bit dozy too so lay on the sofa and watched them play.
Then when Lily went to bed again Azzan and I rested in our room until I had to get ready to go out.
Corene & Fi picked me up at 2pm and took me to The Pumphouse Gastropub which was conveniently just down the road from Sunni & Mat’s on the Unitec campus.
We spent a lovely couple of hours chatting over coffee.
Corene has recently moved up from Nelson so it was nice to really sit and talk and catch up.
Finally it was time to move and they took my into the Viaduct Basin where I was meeting up with Christian.
He was waiting so after introducing them – funnily enough they all live within cooee of each other over Titirangi way – the girls went off home and we wen to get a drink.
I was really hungry to we went to the Waterfront Cafe and I ordered Vegetarian Nachos and a Virgin Pina Colada.
A really good filler-up for the afternoon.
They were full of chunky vegetables and very tasty.
We sat and chatted for an hour and then Brando Yelavich aka WildBoy, and his family and some friends arrived.
I was so thrilled to be in Auckland for his arrival here.
He called into Port Ligar on May 30th last year, just 4 months into his journey of walking all the way around NZ’s coastline.
He has been walking for 510 days now and just has to go from here to Cape Reinga now and he will have accomplished his mission to be the first person to walk the coastline of NZ.
He is also raising money for Ronald McDonald House – so far I believe he has raised over $18,000.
You can follow him on his Facebook page and support him on this support page and read all about his adventure here on his website.
Here he is with Goy, his proud granddad.
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Christian was very excited to meet Brando too so I am glad it worked out for him to come with me.
We left before 6pm and Christian drove me back home.
Sunni was just dishing up a big bowl of noodles and mushrooms.
I was feeling rather weary so we crashed out very early.

Saturday 21st June

We had a slightly slow start to the day.
Drove into city and walked down to meet up with Wilf & Diane for brunch at Food Truck Garage.
Beautiful sunny day plus we had the dogs with us, so we sat outside.
The crayons were more interesting as food so Sunni had to remove them from her!
Diane bought her a sunhat back from the Philippines which was a very handy addition to her wardrobe on such a sunny morning.

Food is her thing.
The most important thing in life really.
So when Grandad Wilf offered to share his hot chocolate she certainly wasn’t going to turn it down 🙂
But of course food can also be shared.
And when you have a face just sitting at the right height offering to share is the generous thing to do.
And Zoya of course could not refuse!
We had an enjoyable brunch together.
Zoya, Tank & Echo all behaved admirably and nothing Lily deposited on the ground was left remaining for the staff to clean up.
Ideal customers really 🙂
Some idle streetside chitchat afterwards before we went our separate directions.
Not hard to tell these three generations are related eh? 😉
We came home and put Lily to bed for her nap.

I had an afternoon sleep too.
Azzan & Sunni made wraps using lettuce leaves for dinner.
They were delicious.
The baby sitter arrived at 8pm.
We were all ready to party so drove around the corner to Montage Bar where friends joined us to celebrate Sunniva’s birthday.
It’s a cute wee cocktail bar.
The staff were great and even when it got really busy and they were on the run they still were very pleasant and helpful.
Sunni had checked earlier and Azzan was allowed to join us so he came too.
He stayed for about an hour & a half and then I took him back home.
Lily had woken 10mins earlier and had a bit of an upset tummy.
She was a bit distressed so I helped to calm her down before I went back.
It was nice that she felt comfortable with me as I don’t see a lot of her.
It was a pleasant evening.
Quite crowded at the bar for a while as there seemed to be three different birthday groups there.
We had a spot at the back designated for our group.
I discovered a mocktail on the menu which was really delicious – Virgin Sunrise – fresh juiced orange and a house made pomegranate grenadine sink – so yum!
Also downed a few Asian nibbles throughout the evening.
We left around 1am and after Mat chased down a pie from the local garage I drove them both home.

Friday 20th June

Spent a cruisy day with Sunniva & Lily.
Had quite a few business calls to make and emails to attend to.
Also got some washing done.
Had to put it through the dryer as the rain was persistent enough to not allow much drying.
Echo is enjoying keeping warm in the wee ski jacket I bought back for her 🙂
She’s so tiny and is feeling the cold.
When Lily woke up Sunni suggested we went out for a wee while.
She has a short midday window between naps so it si nice to do something out of the house.
I woke up Azzan.
He was out cold until 10:30am.
Slept for over 12 hours!!
We drove to a nearby mall and did a little bit of shopping.
Then stopped to refuel our tummies.
Azzan & I got a Pita Pit for lunch and I bought Tank juices for me and Sunni.
But Lily thought I had bought it for her!
Man! can that girl demolish smoothies with major action.
This one was a Detox juice and had beetroot in it which made for a wonderful moustache 🙂
Sunniva did try to capture the drips & dribbles with a paper serviette but as the activity got more vigorous she gave up and let Lily enjoy the drink with intense passion.
There was lots of ‘Aaahs’ of pleasure in between the great slurping attacks on the cup.
She would’ve had both hands and feet in there if she were allowed 🙂
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Sunni took her off to the bathroom to clean her up a tad and Azzan went shopping in Typo which conveniently just happened to be near where we were sitting 🙂
Marah called up so I had a chat with her whilst following Azzan around the shop.
Then we headed back home to get Lily into bed before she fell asleep in the car and kaiboshed her arvo sleep.
I went off to bed for a rest as I was really tired.
Slept for several hours.
Azzan went out to help Sunniva entertain the pup and baby.
Something he is very good at and loves to do 🙂
I staggered out for dinner around 6pm.
It has been raining off and on since we arrived in Auckland.
Nothing too major, but is keeping the temperatures cool.
Sunniva & Azzan had made a really delicious dinner – pasta with mushroom sauce, and Mat cooked the side of broccoli to perfection.
I ate mountains of it, and I am not a huge mushroom fan so that speaks volumes 🙂
We were all in bed early – still recovering.