Wednesday 27th January

I zipped off just before 9:30am to go have my shoulder x-rayed and ultra sounded.
That all went smoothly.
Lovely to have a Kate doing my scans.
She could see some abnormalities but we will wait and see what the experts read from them.
Hopefully it will help to get the ongoing treatment sorted appropriately.
I had a few other jobs to do so zipped about doing those before heading home.

I was planning to do some school preparation with Azzan but he had jumped the gun and was already in town.
I collected him and we went and got his uniform completed.
Then went to Warehouse Stationery to get his books etc for the new year.
The place was teeming with kids and parents all doing the same thing.
We managed to complete the job with both of us looking for all his requirements.
He was busting to go join his friends so I let him go.
They all came back to the house and socialised for a while before heading off for a photo shoot at the park.
I chilled out and had some lunch while I waited for him to return.
Then at 3pm we headed back into town to get his bank card sorted.
I figure it will be easier for me if he has his own weekly allowance that he can budget.
If he uses it all up in the first two days I guess he will learn for next time 😉
Tracey dropped  in the baking she did for Mahalia’s camp.
It was so good – I had to lock the lids!!
Thanks Tracey – really appreciate your help.
Pat arrived later this arvo to carry on with the boardwalk.
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I went to tell Azzan I was going to get groceries and found him absolutely out cold on his bed.
He must’ve been tired because all his bags of school books etc were underneath him.
He was out cold where he had fallen!
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Shanni had finished packing up her room and had left to go visit Marah.
Mahalia walked to rowing with Caspian at 3pm and got a ride home.
I did the grocery shopping and fuelled up the car.
Azzan called me in a real daze – he was in a panic because he thought it was morning and he was late for work or school!!
Back home to try and think about packing.
Had dinner and watched some drivel Gossip Girl
Tried to pack but gave up that idea and went to bed.
Morning is a far better time to think about that!

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Tuesday 26th January

I woke at 5:43am precisely 😉
Opened Mahalia’s door and she was still in bed, out cold.
I roused her and suggested she may have slept past her alarm.
Told her I’d run her to rowing.
While she got dressed I quickly scrambled up a couple of eggs and cheese and she ate them while I drove her.
We got to the clubrooms at 6am.
Talk about slick time!!

Back home and got myself sorted for the day.
I zipped back and picked her up around 8:30am.
Dropped her home and picked up Azzan.
Then zipped across town to collect Leita from the garage and we drove over the hill to Tahunanui.
Left Azzan at work and parked up at the beach.
I put Caspian on the long 20m lead and off we went.
I went straight into the sea and he followed, a tad gingerly at first but then he decided it was a bit of all right.
It was funny watching him trying to step over the waves.
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We walked all the way along the back beach and back again.
It was a good long way.
Easy walking when you have someone to walk with.
And Leita was right – the beach is soothing and grounding.
We came off the beach along the wrong track so had to negotiate through the undergrowth.
Added to the adventure.
We towel dried the pup and then headed back to town.
I dropped Leita back to her car and came back home.
The girls were having a good time together.
Azzan manages to get plenty of social time in.
He finished work and then walked up to Jack’s place.
Got a ride back into town with him and they hung out together for a while.
Andrea called in for a visit and to quench her thirst after a long hot bike ride.
I took Mahalia out to Atawhai to join the rest of the rowers who were doing their swim test in a private pool.
I thought I might go to a movie but when push came to shove I couldn’t actually be bothered.

I had a rest for a while and tiddled around doing stuff here.
Then went next door to visit Ursula for a while.
Tried to help her set up her new printer but it proved too difficult even for me.
Stupid things these new fandangled devices that are supposed to be simple to set up and make our lives easier.
All they do is push or stress buttons!
I’d left me phone behind so Mahalia could make a call.
Later I discovered 183 photos on it of her and Shanni and the puppy!!
Here are the two I saved – the rest have been deleted!!
No wonder they hadn’t managed to achieve a lot while I was gone 😉IMG_3567IMG_3624

Had a long talk with Shanni before bed.
It is good to try and communicate – we don’t do it enough.
Life just gets in the way,
Life is full of frustrations for us both – have to concede that we are more alike than we like to admit 😉

Monday 25th January

Monday morning whirl!
Trying to piece my day together.
My head wouldn’t connect the dots.
After a very sleep deprived night it’s not easy to kick the brain into gear.
It was an incredibly muggy night and I was getting attacked by mosquitos 😦
There appears to be an influx here at present – have heard from others since that they are all over Nelson.
My right hand was really swollen and my arm so itchy plus every time I turned off the light they’d be buzzing in my ear so I was struggling to sleep.

Left the kids to go get some things done.
Was holding the pager today but its been very quiet lately so I was hoping for another unpaged day.
Whizzed over to Tahunanui and picked up a box of diced apples to use as a base in the rowing camp desserts.
Then onto Aunty Doris’s.
Been trying to get over the hill since yesterday!!
It was lovely to spend an hour with her.
I was quite weary and ragged so collapsed into a chair and let her entertain me.
Both of us are facing anniversaries without our main men next month – it’s really hard 😦
Had to prise myself away just before midday as I had an appointment that I hadn’t been able to cancel.
Spent an hour with my therapist.
It was one of those days when I really didn’t want to be there but it was probably good that I was :-/
Afterwards I drove round to Styx to meet up with Estelle & Tracey.
Was feeling really drained so was good to have some friend time.
I had been in such a whirl this morning that I hadn’t had breakfast so was starving.
The fish of the day was Orange Roughy – I hadn’t tried it before.
Normally I avoid fish on the menu.
After a lifetime of enjoying fish so fresh it is almost still kicking when it hits the pan it is hard to eat stale fish from a shop.
But this was so good.
The fish was superb – unfortunately the meal was just way too big so felt a bit bleuch for a while after.
We sat and talked for so long that the waitress was bringing more water to keep us hydrated.
Thank you Estelle for my birthday treat.
It was lovely 🙂

Azzan had walked into town to meet some friends and called me just as I was heading home to see if they could come back home to hang out for a while.
Just a couple of friends he said?
Okay, all cool.
Get back home and find 6 young lads in Azzan’s room with the door shut and no windows open.
I exclaimed that it stunk of boy sweat and they should open some windows.
Jack commented to me with a grin that they were inventing a new deodorant!!
Also think that maybe Azzan needs to concentrate on Math this year because when I was at school a couple always meant 2 😉

I rested on my bedroom chaise for a short time before Martin & Sylvia picked me up for dinner.
They had booked into East Street Cafe at 5pm so we could eat early.
It was good timing as the place was fairly quiet.
We sat out in the courtyard as it was warm and there was some cloud cover – for a while!
Sylvia & I shared a Pear & Elderflower cidar.
It was really good.
Jesika – you would love this one!!
Its a Marlborough Company
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Martin ordered a mushroom stack – looks pretty darned impressive!
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Sylvia opted for Kissadeer and I went back for the Haloumi trio – again.
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Loving J’s mural behind us.
It was a most enjoyable evening.
But the cloud cleared back and the sun was hotter than before even though it was already 6pm.
We were squeezing into the little shade we could find at the back of our table!
We were too full for dessert so decided that it must be time to leave.
Thank you Martin & Sylvia for a lovely dinner – nothing like extending birthday celebrations 🙂

I was really tired and my shoulder was aching quite badly so crashed out on my bed.
Was roused by a voice in the kitchen.
Sue had come to bring me this exquisite lily from her garden.
Thanks Sue it is beautiful, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.
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Sophie was here visiting with Mahalia.
I was feeling so rubbish that I couldn’t move off my bed to take Sophie home so Mahalia walked her part the way.

My body wanted to curl up and sleep but I knew I needed to get out so I convinced my legs to move and went for a walk.
Figured it might help me to sleep better tonight.
Met up with Mahalia on her way home so took Caspian from her and took him for a longer walk around a few blocks.
Beautiful evening.
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I had read that tea tree oil is a good mosquito repellent so I opened the bottle to tip some on my arms and didn’t realise till too late that the safety seal had been removed so instead of a few drops, half the jolly bottle tipped all over me.
Phew!
That should keep more than just mossies away!!!!
Leita called to see how I was and and after a long talk and a lot of tears decided I needed a walk on the beach tomorrow.
On that note I hit my pillow and actually got to sleep.

Sunday 24th January

I woke earliest but dozed off back to sleep.
Then just after 8am I was woken by a call from some folk who were at my gate wanting to come and tow ‘Rachel’ away.
I was in a bit of a daze as I didn’t know anything about it.
But after a call to Seb it was all okayed so I let them carry on.
She is Phoebe’s pride and joy but as she wasn’t getting enough use and tlc, plus the weeds were threatening to smother her, a new home was needed.
She was a bit reticent to leave at first but when she realised that she was heading to the beauty parlour to get a face lift and complete body makeover she seemed quite happy about being pushed out the gate.
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I waved her goodbye as they towed her off down the street.
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Back inside to my lovely birthday lilies.
They make a happy display of colour on my kitchen windowsill.IMG_3511
Azzan’s friend Skye came round so they took Caspian for a walk.
Then they spent ages taking photos.
I had a few things I was planning to do today but ended up having a very relaxing day instead.
Sue popped in and took Caspian for another walk which was great.
Skye’s mum picked up the kids mid arvo and took them to the beach.
Lloyd & Val arrived around 4:30pm so we had a cuppa and caught up on their weekend’s activities.
Mahalia arrived home and swept through the house, ran past us onto the deck and engulfed Caspian in a ginormous hug.
So much for Hi Mum!
We got a greeting after Caspian was cuddled to death!
I said good bye to L&V and then went in and had a chat with Sharon.
She & Meg had bought Mahalia home from rowing camp so they filled me in on the past 5 days.
They were all tired but happy.
It sounds like it was a good camp.
They worked hard – Mahalia’s hands are covered in callouses and blisters to prove it!
I made dinner – used a zucchini and silver beet from our garden.
That is such a good feeling 🙂
Azzan stayed at the beach and had fish & chips with Jack and his family before they brought him home.
Shanni arrived back later in the evening, so my three babies are back in their nest tonight.

Saturday 23rd January

A cruisy start to the day.
Shoshannah gathered up some things and headed off to help Sasha & David get ready for their bbq baby shower.
Azzan was in no hurry to get out of bed.
He had a list of things to do but was planning on getting them done after I left.
I planned to take Caspian with me but as he often does the days, when he knows I am wanting to catch him in the car or for a walk he starts playing silly beggars!!
He turns it into a game, a very frustrating game :-/
He will come just close enough to me that I can’t catch him and then he races away to play.
I have to trick him into being caught – maddening when you are in a hurry.
But Ive learnt now that I have to prepare earlier and definitely don’t allow him to se I am getting frustrated with him.
Finally tricked him into following me into Azzan’s room and secured him!!
I thought I would do a couple of things in town on my way out to Richmond.
I forgot it was Saturday!!
Crazy busy, no parks in town, forget this idea.
Battled the traffic and diverted outa there asap.
Leaving those jobs for another day, I drove straight to Stoke to drop off a box of books I had sold, then out to Richmond.
Shoshannah was preparing food and David was getting the bbq etc ready.
Sasha was doing her prenatal exercises.
I arrived early because I had to leave early.
So chatted with them both and helped where I could.
The day was heating up outside.
People began arriving around midday.
Had to get this line up of three pregnant ladies in varying states of due-ness 🙂IMG_3503
I zipped into the food table a bit early and ate a small plateful of salads as I knew I wouldn’t get a chance to eat again for some time.
By 1pm I was feeling really hot and bothered.
I said my goodbyes and went to pick up Jenni.
The day was unbearably hot – way way too hot for me.
31’C inside the car so I had the air conditioning working flat out.
I left Caspian back at home.
Figured he’d be happier and cooler in his own yard than inside with me at a meeting.
We collected Glynnie as we drove past and were at our work meeting just before 2pm.
I was totally unimpressed at having to miss the baby shower and spend the afternoon at a meeting but it was important so I sucked it up and went.
Unfortunately I was battling my overwhelming ‘sleep through meetings’ issue during the first part of the agenda.
So embarrassing 😦
Anyway, after a break and a cuppa I was all good for the last part.
5pm and we were outa there like scolded dingoes!!
Picked up Caspian and then whizzed back to Richmond.
Dropped off Jenni and returned to David & Sasha’s.
All the guests had gone, they’d been to the river to cool off and were just chilling with Luke & Shoshannah.
Shanni was out cold on the couch.
I sat and chatted for an hour and then headed out country to collect Azzan.
He had been taken out there by his friend
Josh’s mum and had spent a delightful afternoon with Georgia and Danielle.
They were just finishing dinner when I arrived.
The four kids were eating outside on the lawn and were delighted to have Caspian join them.
He loved running about with all the kids.
Garth & Diana were most welcoming and I joined them for dessert – made by Leita – can’t escape your wonderful cooking my friend 😉
We ended up chatting for ages and it was nearly 9pm before I rounded up the boys and puppy and disappeared off down their driveway.
Dropped Josh home on the way.
The temperatures had finally dropped – so much better for my equilibrium.
Azzan had had a wonderful day so he was one happy chappy – went off to bed planning tomorrow’s social events 😉
I got myself some dinner and zoned out with an episode of Gossip Girl before heading to bed.

 

 

 

 

 

Friday 22nd January

Shoshannah and I both had early appointments so we were up around 7am.
Juggled the cars out the gate and left Caspian guarding a sleeping Azzan.
Shanni went off to her 8am Defensive Driving practical test which went well thankfully.
I had a 7:45am physio session booked.
Most of it was spent discussing my shoulder injury and how to progress on from here.
She had an excellent sports physio reference book with the clearest pictures I have ever been shown.
So good to be able to see exactly what the experts are talking about.
I have a fairly good grasp of anatomy but when all the large names of ligaments and muscles roll off their tongues I often struggle to keep up!
She has referred me on for a scan and X-ray of my shoulder so we can find out what exactly is going on.
Then we might have something more specific to work with.
Then for the last part of the appointment she did some releasing massage on my back to give me some relief until next week.
During our time there was some things discussed that set off some triggers and tears began to well up from down deep.
Kept them in check, but as usual they just sit under the surface, waiting…….
Called into the Nelson Radiology to book the scan for next week.
Then back home.
Shanni had been to the supermarket and was making sushi.
Azzan was up and in a busy buzzy mood, running about getting chores done so he could then go spend the day with his friends.
I had been putting off doing the accounts and essential business paperwork
due to my birthday and other procrastinating factors.
Couldn’t delay any more.
But then the pressures of trying to sort near impossible issues hit me and those tears that were sitting just under the surface exploded into a loud stream of absolute helplessness.
The dam broke and I cried it all out.
The kids gave me the love and support they could but there is nothing more they can do.
The weight of the businesses is mine alone to carry.
I am so wanting to be free of it but it is taking so long to resolve.
I try so hard to be positive and know that things will work out.
I use so many techniques to deal with it all.
Avoidance is the best one!
But as we all know it doesn’t work for long :-/
In amongst all of this came a phone call saying that essential items that had been ordered for the completion of the wharf had not arrived as they should’ve done.
That was just another nail in my emotional coffin.
Graham is working so hard on my behalf to get it completed so compliance can be issued and to have yet another hiccup in proceedings is so frustrating.
Transport and accessibility to materials is difficult at the best of times without stupid transporting companies letting us down.
As well as all of the above I was answering business and social mail.
Mahalia is away at rowing training camp this week and then next week she is off to the South Island champs so there is a lot to be organised.
Haven’t even begun to look at Azzan’s College preparations  for this new year- sigh!
After spending an hour or so getting what I could done I called up Tracey as she is my back up baker for the camp food.
She decided I needed a shoulder and a coffee.
So I gathered up some of the large items of curricula that I have just sold and Azzan helped me carry it to the store so I could get quotes on postage.
He then took most of it home for me to wrap and pack, and I stayed to meet Tracey at the Sprig.
Whew!
It was a much needed break in the proceedings.
Just removing myself from the situation, having a shoulder to cry on and an ear to share, helps immeasurably.
Thanks Tracey xxx
I hadn’t been watching the time so when Shanni called to see where I was I got a fright to see I only had 15 minutes to get her to her appointment!!
Raced home and grabbed what we needed and headed into WINZ.
Was pretty ticked off.
The case manager we saw last week had booked us in for today so we presumed we would be seeing her.
But another one came to get us, and she was not as gracious by a long shot!
So damned arrogant and condescending – she seemed to think she knew how to make Shanni well!!!
So?? I’ve been wasting all my time energy and finances for the past few years after all.
All I needed to do was to take my daughter into see her – grrrr!!
I came away feeling really upset at her attitude.
I should know better than to have any expectations from this department.
Have heard enough stories from others, plus had my own experiences many years ago :-/
I dropped Shanni back home as she was heading off to meet a friend.
Both she and Azzan ended up at the beach – the best place to be on a day like today.
It was sweatingly hot – not my fav temperatures.
I dropped some paperwork off at the Dr and was able to have a good talk with her which was good.
Then had to go sort out some bank stuff for my other work before coming home.
Almost forgot to fuel up the car!!
Had been too busy to notice the flashing light telling me the tank was getting hungry.
I got myself a late lunch – Shanni had left a rice ball for me – yum.
Reclined on the couch in the cool of the lounge and relaxed for a while.
Azzan arrived back quite late, but the days are long and hot so who’s counting the hours.
Plus I was quite glad of the kid free space to zone out this arvo.
Shanni arrived in around 9pm.
I decided to take Caspian for a walk.
I thought it had cooled down but it was actually still a very balmy evening.
It was 9:30pm when we left the house.
The moon is huge a full at the moment.
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We took a brisk walk around a larger block than usual because he needed a good walk and so did I.
It was so muggy I was glad I was only in tee and shorts, cuz that was almost too hot!!
We met up with Izzy and Barney – Caspian went nuts with excitement at seeing his friend.
Lots of other dogs out walking their owners – lovely night for it 🙂
When we returned I finished packing up the parcels of books an games ready to post in the morning.
This is what you do when you are a fluffy puppy who needs to cool down.
Wooden floors are wonderfully cool 🙂
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I think Azzan’s body is still in Perth zone, he had a lot of blankets on him when I tucked him in!!
It was after midnight when I finally got to bed.
But too hot to sleep comfortably.

Thursday 21st January

I woke after 7am feeling like I had been hit by a bus :-/
And it wasn’t a hangover – I hadn’t had anything to drink!!
I was absolutely exhausted.
Tried to get some things done but could feel myself about to melt down so flagged it.
Shanni went off for the day.
She has several appointments.
Azzan slept till 10:30am and came out in a dishevelled rush.
He had a date to meet his mates at 11am.
I had made apple, carrot & celery juice so fed him a glass full and insisted on some food entering his mouth before he raced off.
I had a chat with Ursula though the window and then decided to flag trying to do anything.
Crashed out on the sofa and watched a few episodes of Gossip Girl.
Exactly the brainless stuff I cold cope with today.
I was given lots of beautiful flowers yesterday.
Chrissy’s spray was very intriguing.
Have spent today trying to figure out what these all are.
There are some most unusual flowers in here.
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Jane & John brought these.
At first I thought they were roses but they’re not.
I have been told the name but have forgotten!!IMG_3448
Leita presented me with a gorgeous spray of Gerbera and then Grace, Sophie & Katherine brought me another pray so I popped them all in together.
They are spectacularly gorgeous – love the colours.IMG_3449
Sally G picked the stunning variegated orange gladioli from her garden.
Amy and Aviah brought a sweet posey of catnip and sweet peas and Andrea gave me the hydrangeas, along with Miso soup!!IMG_3451
Cynthia’s fuchsia is beautiful, can’t wait to plant it in the garden.
Funnily enough it is called Margaret Kendrick.
And it is not named after the lovely MK who both Cynthia &  I remember from our high school days.
A beautiful array of cards and gifts.
I have been totally spoilt – thank you everyone so much.IMG_3452
These are my special orange presents from Eden & Aaliyah.
A container of farm eggs, and container of plums, fresh plum jam, a lovely canvas and cards made especially for Nonna by Eden.
Love them all so much xxxxIMG_3453

I spent the afternoon selling more curricula online.
Good to be moving it on to new homes.

Azzan finally returned home after 6pm.
We had a good chat about life and stuff.
Essential mother son discussions.
All good.
Love my lad 🙂

Shanni arrived back from her Defensive Driving Course around 9pm.
I’m glad this course is nearly finished.
It has exhausted and upset her.
Nice soak in the bath for me and then to bed!